The Moment Running Breaks Your Heart

2017 you suck ball so far.

It's April 4th, a day in which I should be on a plane heading to Rotterdam for my next marathon and attempt to qualify for the 2017 World Marathon Team, but instead I find myself at home writing this with a broken heart. Kara Goucher's post says it all. I couldn't agree more.

I suppose you are all wonder why I am not on my way to Rotterdam. Well to be honest, 2017 has been a struggle. I ran some of the best workouts of my life in January and February, only to be followed up with extremely disappointing race results. That was discouraging but it didn't break me. I knew I was fitter than those results.


Upon returning home from Mexico, things just got worse. A few days after getting home, I caught a head cold that left me with stuffy sinuses for 3 days and then moved into my chest. I took a few days off to avoid making it worse. When I felt better and started to run again I found myself extremely tired during my runs, especially on up hills. I figured it was just my iron so I had that tested and yes it was indeed much lower than normal so I received my usual treatment and had that fixed, only the running didn't improve. Hmm so now what? I then had my thyroid tested and that came back with questionable results but unfortunately my doctor was on vacation so I had to wait to see him regarding that.


In the meantime, I began to hate running. Yes I said it, I actually said it many times "I hate running." For anyone who knows me, would know that I rarely say that. That right there is a sign that something is wrong. My energy levels were horrible and while I wasn't injured, my body ached. Most people would jump to the conclusion of overtraining, but I will tell you that my mileage was actually much lower than normal at this point and had been since before Mexico.


After a few weeks of less than ideal running and sickness, I decided at 5 weeks out from the marathon that I had missed too much (vital) training in order to make a decent attempt in Rotterdam. I simply couldn't justify spending $1200+ on the flight, not to mention additional hotel not covered by the race. It was not an easy decision, but I officially sent off the e-mail to withdraw from the race and opted to end my season completely (aka take a week off).


This spring has been stressful, that included a move on March 15th and temporary accommodations in Youbou at Warren's uncles cabin until we were able to move into our new place in Nanoose Bay (slightly north of Nanaimo). Youbou was rustic. No internet, no cable, no cell service, only generator power and a landline. While there I caught yet another cold that went straight into my chest.


Along with all this, my health has also been doing weird things in which we (my doctors and I) are still trying to figure out. I will say that in the last week I have been in the ER twice, once for 5.5 hours and once for 2-3 hours. Those trips didn't result in any answers; however, my doctor is very thorough and has done quite a few tests, with more tests to come.


So the good news is that it wasn't an injury that took me out of Rotterdam, but the bad news is I have no idea why my health has failed me and what exactly is going on. 2 head colds and 2 chest colds in 4 weeks plus way too many episodes involving vomit than I have encountered in my entire whole life. And no people I am NOT pregnant (that question is getting extremely old).


What does all of this mean? I am not sure. I am going day by day right now and hopefully all will be sorted out shortly. I know that I am 100% not done with running. We may have temporarily broke up but my love and drive came back and I WILL be back out there kicking butt on the roads and striving for my goals.  Don't worry, I am NOWHERE done yet.


PS. Anyone have any shoe deals they could hook me up with? While I am grateful for the last 3 years of support, it appears as though I join the list of Asics athletes whose contract will not be renewed in 2017.